Abandoned to Found

Read: Psalm 27:10, Deuteronomy 31:6, Romans 8:38-39

It was that time of the year, once again.  Father’s Day had come.  The worst day of the year.  Well, to me it has been the worst day for the past 16 years.  When I was eight years old, my father walked out on my family.  I remember that day like it was yesterday.  The day my father said he was leaving.  My mother embracing my brother and I as we all sat crying on my bed.  My father stood in the doorway and just watched us as we were sobbing, not setting a foot inside my room.  I was able to muster up the word “Why?” as the tears were rolling down my face.  His response: “I just have to.”  That was it.  No explanation.  Not a word as to why.  My guardian, my protector, my so-called devoted and loving father was gone.  From that day on, I was and forever abandoned.

Growing up “father-less” was mediocre.  During my adolescent years, I managed to hide the pain of the father’s absence very well.  I was very good at pretending everything was “okay”.  Sure, it was difficult to watch as all my friends got dressed up and headed out to the Father-Daughter dance but I was strong.  Nothing could break me down.  I have my heavenly Father.  Why would I need an earthly one?

That was the line I would always repeat to myself.  “I have my heavenly Father, so I am okay, I have my heavenly Father, so I am okay” and so on and so on.  However, I don’t think I truly understood what that meant until just a year ago.  My 23rd year opened my eyes in so many ways.  College was over so it was time for me to become a “true” adult.  Friends and colleagues were getting engaged and having babies.  I let my insecurities take over and allowed it to control my every move.  I dated guys who had no relationship with God, because it was nice to be “noticed” by a man.  A couple days before my 24th birthday, I broke down.  I realized that I was slipping and I needed God more than ever.  Through the tears and sadness I was experiencing, I was comforted by my true Father.  God has never left my side throughout my 24 years of life.  He has been there during my joy, my sadness, my hurts, and my accomplishments.  God finds us, wherever we are in our lives, and will never leave our side.  I have gone from abandoned to found.  I went from having no father, to having a heavenly Father who I can always turn to and know that He will be there.  If you share the same life experience as I do, I encourage you to place your life, your trust, and your love in the only Father you will ever need.