Today I woke up scared.
Scared because I didn’t have any other writings to submit that I was proud of. Scared because I hadn’t replied to emails that I needed to reply too. Scared because I didn’t think I was good enough to be a writer for His Kingdom. Scared because, well, I am always scared.
I have lived my life this way for as long as I can remember and as I woke up to this deadline this morning I was scared that I let my fear ruin my chances at writing for my very first blog, ruining my chance at getting published for the very first time. Ironic? I think so. Pathetic? Maybe. Not how God wants me to act? Most definitely.
As I panicked, I ran to Instagram to lose myself in pointless procrastination when I came across a verse,
‘God said “My presence will go with you. Ill see the journey to the end.” -Exodus 33:14
…and this is where is hit me. God is with me! I know you’re probably like “Well, duh Alli!” but, hear me out.
Our Prince of Peace, our Savior, our Alpha, Omega, Jehovah Shammah, our Father, is with me. And He knew I had this journey. He knew I would get scared and let my poor self-esteem hinder me. He planned for that verse to pop up on my feed because He promised to see this journey through to the end.
As I meditated on this word and how it affects my thoughts, I thought about the horror that is surrounding our nation and how this verse can relate to that. Racism. Murder. Hate. I pray daily for a revival in this country but I find peace today knowing that God is there! God is there in Dallas and DC. He is there during every protest and shooting. Every act of terror, our Lord is there. He knew this would happen and He predestined our days. As new places and horrors pop up on the news, I pray that God uses these situations, these people, and these events to put His Holy Name on high! He promised and He will see this journey our nation and our world is going through to the very end.
Our God gave me the kick in the pants I needed today, and while this small, soon to be, Instagram post isn’t my best work, it’s real. It’s in the moment, real, authentic, and my personal, actual thoughts. This is what God wants me to write to the Kingdom today and how He wants to prove His grace and glory through me. This is what He lays on my heart to pray over and I will not allow my fears to keep God’s words from echoing out to others, especially at a time when the world needs more truth and more Jesus.
We get scared.
As a sufferer of anxiety, I get scared a lot. But, we can all relate to this. We get scared and mad and let our minds get the best of us daily. When this happens, however, we just need to remind ourselves that our God is with us. He promised to see our journeys through to the end and with that, He will lay the stones for us to take our steps in His direction. I cannot be more thankful for a God that constantly lays stones of peace and patience in my life and constant seeks to life me up even when I give up on myself.
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