Alaska was always this magical land where the sun never sets and then turns around, refusing to rise. A place with wild creatures and snow covered peaks, glaciers, and villages. A place I dreamed of visiting, never thinking the day would come.

Then I went twice in five weeks.

My job has taken me all over the world. I get to travel with short-term mission’s teams, love on the lost and restore hope. When I was assigned two separate Anchorage trips, I did not know what to do. All of my “mission’s clothes” were made for summer heat and humid thunderstorms; I had been working on my Spanish all year long. Now, I was going to serve a group of people I knew little about with teams I had never met.

This is adventure.

On my first trip, I was able to work with teenagers who had never picked up a Bible and knew little of Christ. Our team helped them fundraise money to go to camp by selling hundreds of donuts in parking lots and on street corners. One of the girls raising money had only stepped through the doors of church a week prior to our arrival; she was looking for someone, anyone, to pay attention and notice her. Our team poured into her life, praying the week after we left as she went to camp she would come to know Jesus as her personal Lord and Savior.

As I stepped out of the airport five weeks later, nearly the first sentence out of my mouth was a question about her.

She had yet to accept Jesus as her Savior.

I was heartbroken.

Coming off a June of anguish and confusion, and a July of change I did not ask for, I needed this. I needed her to have said yes to Jesus. Why was my hard work of pouring into her not enough?

MY hard work. There is the problem.

I had spent my whole first trip pouring into her out of myself, not out of my abundance of Jesus. I tried to save her. Me. Jamie. I had forgotten saving was not my job.

It took two nights in Anchorage the second time around for me to get it. I cried out to God asking why she had not yet been saved. Wasn’t I doing enough? Jesus gently spoke to me in the way only He can,

“Jamie, it’s your job to point to me, it’s my job to run to her.”

Wow. What a beautiful reminder of how Jesus loves us. Of the prodigal son’s return. The rest of my second stay in Alaska was spent watching her grow and lead in our VBS, right alongside the team from Alabama. As she watched our team love kids and love Jesus with such abandon, I saw her begin to change. At the end of our trip, she prayed with another leader on our team the prayer of salvation.

We rejoiced with Jesus. She had found the hope she was longing for.

This is why I am a missionary. This is why I spend agonizing weeks fundraising my salary, preparing teams for travel, flying around the world. I go for the one.

Thank God for big reminders like Anchorage.
Thank God for not giving up on me.
Thank God for HOPE.