After battling with questions of what I should do with my future & the emptiness I felt, I cried out to God for Him to comfort me. I prayed for three things: show me that You’re listening, give me peace, & give me direction. This is what He did the Fall of 2012.

“God, I don’t know what I’m doing here in this season of life. I don’t understand Your plans and it frustrates me. My soul is irritated and uneasy. God, I feel empty and lost at sea. Help me understand You are near. Lord, I am crying out to feel You with me. Show me that You’re here and You’re paying attention to my prayer. Give me peace because I desperately need it. Lord, show me direction in my next step I need to take. Align myself to You.”

That was the prayer I desperately cried out. Thinking back to that night, I sobbed. Tears and snot. It was that kind of night. I felt helpless.

I opened up my Bible to the book of Colossians. It was book that I had read here and there, but on that night it rocked my world.

“May God our Father give you grace and peace.”-Colossians 1:2

Woah. I was praying for peace and that He would stir in my heart that He was listening – this verse identified that He was.

It was Him and I.

It was loud outside my apartment window but I wasn’t paying attention because the God of the universe was speaking to me.

As I continued to read chapter 1 of Colossians, I stopped at verse 9. “We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and give you spiritual wisdom and understanding.” He was responding again to my prayer of seeking direction.

Lord, thank You for this. Continue to encourage my heart. I want Your will and help me to discern Your will against my desires.

During that time in Colossians, I didn’t hear exactly what I was supposed to do with my life but I felt God and that’s what I needed. I didn’t need complete understanding, I needed God. He knew that I needed that time with Him. I needed Him to fill me and satisfy my hungry heart. I needed to know He was there even though I’ve always known He was.

I needed that moment with God. 

We need to cry out to Him and say, “Lord, I’m in desperation. I can’t do this. I need to know You are there and that You’re listening. I need You to romance my heart.”

And God shows up. He doesn’t leave His kids crying in their apartments desperate to be with Him. Why? Because He’s always there… He just waits for us to call on His name.

Originally posted on Sarah Sandoval’s personal blog – https://bytheirfruit.wordpress.com