From a young age, I’ve been rejected.

I can recall the first time I was rejected by some girls my age – they were my neighbors. They had told me that I was “dumb” because my mom homeschooled my brother and I. They wouldn’t let me play with them because in their eyes, I was unusual. I jetted back to my house on my pink bike, crying because of their hurtful words. When you’re young and haven’t experienced rejection like that, it starts to build blocks in your life – negative blocks of shame in this case.

As a homeschooler, I was constantly looked at as the typical Christian weird-o. I felt like I was in this weird box that no one understood. I struggled to find friendships with girls, not because I was socially awkward, but because no one wanted to be friends with the homeschooler.

Junior high: this is where my heart really began to become tattered.

I was not a slim girl in junior high. I didn’t wear what was cool and I definitely was forbidden to wear makeup until high school. I had a gap in my teeth and my brows were out of control. I wasn’t the girl the guys chased – well, so I believed. My diaries were flooded of names of boys I crushed on at church and church camp. But at that young age, I claimed in my life that I was unapproachable, undesirable, and not worthy to have a boyfriend. Again, more building blocks began to set into my heart.

In high school, it was different but kind of the same. A new breed of guys were interested in me, yet I was denied by the athletic, good looking, popular boys. I felt like I wasn’t enough.

Ugly. Weird. Flat hair. Odd wardrobe. Gapped teeth. Not confident. Chunky. Not hot. These were lies I was hearing.

As an adult, I’ve been rejected in jobs. There are times when I instantly want to believe that I was too dumb for the job or not good enough to even be considered.

Because I was rejected, I felt like a 1 out of 10.
Because I was rejected, I became hurt and I hid.
Because I was rejected, I claimed lies about myself.

I’m 26 now but over the past year or so, I’ve started to identify these lies.

As I’ve seen God’s unfolding in my life, especial when a door doesn’t open, I try to not go rushing to my grab bag of lies to pull something out that’s false about me. This hasn’t been easy – it’s been quite difficult. See, I would be in the Word and then on social media waiting for affirmation of a picture I posted. If I didn’t get a large amount of likes, I felt rejected. I would be in the Word then waiting for a guy to text me back, hoping that Prince Charming would sweep me off my feet with a charming yet flirty conversation. But again, I felt rejected when I didn’t get what I hoped for.

When our hands are involved in two sources, it’s hard to identify what’s truth and what is not.

I’m going to the Lord as a source, but I’m waiting for a man to tell me who I am. That can’t work. Because I know that I know that I know, as women we fully intake everything a man says about us, from the most positive compliment we have ever received to the most negative remark, which could be about our bodies, our minds, or our personalities.

I know this all too well, because I was rejected by a man who I had invested many years in. A guy I considered marrying one day.

When we are rejected by a man, for example, the blocks form. The lies take root. We start watering those roots with more lies. And the Lord is there saying, “No, no, no, no, no…you are not these lies. You’re my Daughter. You are worthy. You are talented. You are amazing. You are beautiful. Don’t claim these lies.”

We will be disappointed and rejected by human beings. This will always happen. Even if it’s your sweet grandmother or your husband of many years, they will disappoint you.

When we are rejected, we automatically need to nip the lie that starts to form. This has to become a habit in our lives.

We also need to ask God, “What do You think of me? Who am I in Your eyes?”

Rejection hurts, that’s no lie. But rejection should not cultivate lies, and as daughters of a Royal King, we need to place all these lies at the feet of Jesus for Him to flip through them to rip up and make known who we are.