Earlier this year, on my personal blog, I wrote everyday in a series titled: “Taste & See”. Let’s just be honest…I didn’t write everyday. Most title posts looked like this: “Day 24-25” or “Day 17, 18, 19”. But it was a cool little goal that I created to help me discipline myself (I am not that great with discipline).
I want to share “Day 23” with you.
“…I feel dissatisfied.”
After a day of coffee, delicious Italian food, and ending the night with froyo, I sat on a bench with my friend Hannah staring into the night sky.
“I just feel weird today” Hannah blurted. I was glad she said something first because I was afraid to express that same feeling. Why do I feel dissatisfied? Nothing wrong happened today – it was a good day.
But I felt dry inside – I didn’t feel happy.
It was in that instant that I knew I needed to get home, go into my room, and talk with God. I didn’t want to talk about how I feeling right then and there. There would of probably been tears in my froyo cup. There was a heaviness that pushed me down and caused cracks in my soul.
So as we drove home, we listened to worship music. The need to start receiving whatever the Lord was going to give was extremely desired.
The song “Crash over Me” by Bethel Music started playing.
I have come to this place in my life
I’m full but I’ve not satisfied
This longing to have more of you
It was as I wrote this song. The song was my heartbeat at the moment.
I can feel it, my heart is convinced
I’m thirsty my soul can’t be quenched
You already know this but still
Come and do whatever you want to
I ached for this. Lord, please come.
I’m standing knee deep
But I’m out where I’ve never been
I feel you coming
And I hear your voice on the wind
Would you come and tear down the boxes
That I have tried to put you in
Let love come teach me who you are again
I’m a big cry baby, but I didn’t want to cry in my friend’s car. It would just be messy. As we drove on, I sat motionless trying to figure out what God was trying to tell me. But I grew restless not knowing because I heard nothing.
Would you take me back to the place
Where my heart was only about you
And all I wanted was just to be with you
Come and do whatever you want to
& then I heard it: Be with me. Don’t try to look for answers. Come be with me.
There are many times in my life where I am seeking the Lord to get an answer or a sign, and I never receive it. But that night, I realized something. He just wanted me to be with Him. Cling to Him. Cry and sit with Him. No words. Nothing. He knew that being in His Presence was all I needed. I needed Him. I needed to sit with Him. I needed to cry, sit on the corner of my bed, and raise my hands. I needed to be in His Presence.
His Presence is where I find peace. His Presence is where I find joy. His Presence calms the wild sea in my life. All of that is done in His Presence. I don’t need to complete a list of things to get into His Presence – no, I just walk in and sit down.
Do you need to get into His Presence? Do you need peace? Do you need hope for tomorrow? Sit with Him. You don’t even need to speak. His Presence is powerful and you will be changed just sitting in it.
“Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation. The Lord be with you all.” – 2 Thessalonians 3:16
This post was originally posted by Sarah Sandoval her personal blog –bytheirfruit.wordpress.com. There have been edits from the original posting.